01 September 2006, Friday
7am. Cool again this morning but definitely warmed up over the 38 degrees of a few days ago. Yesterday was a balmy 43 when I awoke. Kyle has a thermometer. I want one. :o) My old avaricious self rears it’s head again.

It’s been wonderful having Kyle around the past few days. We’ve spent the days reading, meditating, contemplating, discussing. We’ve been reading from The Second Coming of Christ by Paramahansa Yogananda. It’s an interesting process in my head. I take issue with this or that. I defend my beliefs (in my head) if they do not correspond with what Rudolf Steiner said. As if I was worthy of tying the shoelaces of either of these men, much less interpreting and analyzing. I suffer from much hubris. It is good. I needed humbling. Kyle and I got into a discussion at the end of the reading last night about the nature of the Christ. Ha on that too. It is so silly to argue with another about the nature of Christ. That has caused wars. It is not the Christ who creates wars but the false beliefs that we individually hold. For, truth is, I am so far from where I seek to go that I can barely begin the journey. I feel like after 60 years of unconscious living I’m only just beginning to learn how to be conscious. Now that‘s not a true thought! My path, like Siddhartha’s, has been checkered. There have been times when I have been deeply immersed in Maya, or materialism. There have been times when I have been deeply immersed in just living every day. Working, raising my daughters, sorting through my own dysfunctions, doing the best I knew how to do at the time.

I’ve begun writing my autobiography today. That will be a spotty adventure, though I imagine once I get going a floodgate will open.

Today: Today I shall go to town. Kyle is leaving sometime today and I will head toward Carbondale at the same time. I have much business to take care of today - post office, library, groceries, tires, phone calls, emails. The list is endless it seems and all the chores will not be finished today.

A glorious sky last night. It was black to the south when I went to sleep but by middle of the night the clouds had disappeared, as had the waxing moon, leaving a black, black sky filled with myriad tiny lights. How wonderful to awaken in the middle of the night and look up at that. One of the joys of not having indoor plumbing. :o)