22 August 2006, Tuesday
I am just back to the campground after spending a couple of days and a night in Leadville with David. We both agreed that it was wonderful to get there but, like Prospect Mtn Ranch, one night is just not enough to satisfy. So I begin making plans to get there over the Thanksgiving Holiday. It’s a given we’ll go there, but just need to decide if it will be Thursday-Friday or Friday-Saturday.

Ah, that loneliness. How awful it is each time I am alone again. It just settles into my belly, pressing down, making me nauseous. I must stay busy to avoid being with it. I love the quiet and alone time here - once I get into it. But it’s always the same at first: I can hardly face a stretch of a day or two alone. It’s so nice to come home to Jupiter. He’s less happy to see me than he is to be fed canned food and always ready to step outside for awhile. Now he’s here at my lap - now he’s gone! Back to the door, he sits and stares at the world. He doesn’t appear to be hunting; just sitting and watching.

So after all the figuring and this and that, I’ve finally decided that all this solar panels and battery stuff for household energy is highly over-rated. Unless one just cannot get energy any other way, active solar is just yuppy stuff. One must always have gas generator backup. And the cost, for my application, really is prohibitive. For $1,500 maybe I get 5 years of solar for the RV, 4-5 months use per year. $300/year for 5 months use is $60/month for lights, water pump and furnace fan. I think I’d rather plug into electric whenever possible, skip the solar and just get a good gas generator and a battery meter. I think I also need an engine battery and a deep cell battery. See, there I am again. I’m back at $1,500 without batting an eye.

I’m not able to spend time at Trinity Monastery in a tent. I must either travel catless and stay in the cottages or go in the RV to New Mexico and Arizona. Dang, though. Am I going to tow my car? I don’t want to. What is the purpose of my trip? 1) Just travel, move about, watch sunsets, hike trails, meditate, journal. Whew! That’s a lot already! 2) Look for a place to own/rent - a seasonal home or piece of land. Some place I can live when I’m not traveling about. In Colorado it might be a summer accessible cabin/piece of land. In Arizona it might be only usable in the winter. And what about exploring further north, as in Montana? Probably not. When it comes to mountains I love Colorado and already have my network of friends, family and connections here. I see no reason to change all that at this point in my life.

We drove through Minturn to Leadville today. Oh, my, the forests south of Minturn are devastated by bark beetle. It looks nice and healthy as one heads further south, towards Leadville, but still a walk in the forests near town reveals a lot of dead pine needles on the young pine trees. We stopped at Hornsilver Campground. Devastated. There’s not a tree left standing in the campground. There are trees on the surrounding slopes but they too are infested and the infestation is spreading. So, where will it all end? What about all the life that’s dependent on those particular trees? The insects, birds, small ground and tree animals, the deer and elk, beer and mountain lion? Of course I’ve been stunned at the lack of wildlife around the campground here. I’ve seen a total of 3 elk. That’s it. No other animal sign. Trash bags can be left outside and will not be disturbed. What does this mean?